It's a ZipADeeDooDa Life
by dizny
Summary: When Crystal Miller agrees to join the Disney Protection Agency, she has no idea what she's getting into. Really random, contains a lot of different Disney characters. Please read and respond! I'm not updating til I get reviews!
1. Chapter 1

The rain fell in drenching buckets, soaking Crystal Miller and plastering her bangs to her forehead. Crystal looked around, startled. Seconds before she had opened the door to the supply closet in her history teacher's classroom, and the next she was here.

_But where is here?_ she thought to herself. She looked around at her surroundings. She seemed to be in a courtyard to an office building. She stood in the center of a cement pathway lined with small, trim trees. The path led to two glass doors that led to the cheerfully lit building.

Crystal's teeth chattered. Maybe the secretary would let her use a phone. She walked towards the doors and pulled their slender, silver handles.

Crystal blinked in the bright light. The lobby was huge with a receptionist's empty desk against the far wall and rows of doors against the side walls. The lobby to the building was tiled in beautifully crafted marble, and large, marble pillars rose imperiously from the floor to the impossibly high ceiling. As Crystal took a better look around, she saw that the entire lobby was made of the same gleaming, white marble. The effect was almost blinding.

The clicking of heels on the marble made Crystal jump and slip in the puddle of water that her dripping clothes had created.

"Crystal Miller?" asked a small, slight woman wearing a blue dress suit who peered down at Crystal over the tops of her small framed glasses.

Crystal nodded.

"You're late. We expected you five minutes ago."

Crystal's mouth dropped open, "Wh…what?"

The woman gazed at her dolefully, "Well, you can't have expected us to encourage lateness. Now please follow me, and try not to drip water everywhere."

Crystal scrambled to her feet and followed the woman through one of the oak doors that lined the walls and into a carpeted hallway.

"I'm sorry," she panted, "You must have the wrong person. How can you have been expecting me? I don't even know where I am!"

The woman continued down the hallway, "Surely, my dear, you must have known about your selection?"

"What?"

"Your _selection_, dear," repeated the woman slowly, "I've received _very_ high recommendations about you, from the boss no less! I'm sorry we couldn't give you time to prepare, but—"

"Hold on, just stop," said Crystal, "What the heck are you talking about? I didn't apply to be on a team or whatever you're talking about!"

"That's what they _all_ say, dear, and I must say, I _do_ get tired of explaining it."

They reached the end of the hallway. A single door with a gold knob sat in the wall.

"It's time to make a decision, Crystal Miller," said the woman, suddenly business-like, "Do you follow me through this door to a life you've only dreamed of, a life of danger and adventure, or do you walk out of here never knowing why you were chosen to appear on our doorstep? It's your choice."

Crystal's mind reeled. Why would she walk through the door? She had no reason to trust this woman. She didn't even know _where_ she was! For all she knew, an ax murderer could be waiting on the other side, ready to chop her to bits.

On the other hand, if she walked away, she would never know why the door in her school led to the courtyard of an office building, or why she was expected in a place she had never been. It was a difficult choice. Common sense and curiosity were waging a war in Crystal's head. In the end, curiosity flattened common sense to the ground.

Crystal walked up to the door and turned the handle. There was a bright flash of light. The woman smiled, "Welcome, Miss Miller to the Disney Protection Agency."


	2. Chapter 2

Crystal's mouth dropped. What she saw couldn't be real, it was impossible. But it was there.

The room seemed more like a park than a part of an office building. Grass grew from the floor and stone paths led to various other doors on the walls. The size and unusual decoration wasn't what surprised Crystal. People strolled around on the paths, but they weren't alone. They were accompanied by cartoons. And not just any cartoons.

"They're Disney characters," whispered Crystal, gazing at the scene in wonder.

"Well, of course they are," said the woman.

Crystal's eyes widened as she realized that the statue in the middle of the fountain was of a man shaking hands with a mouse. _Walt Disney_, she thought to herself.

"But...But…they're not _real_, they're drawings!"

"How do you think the animators get the movement of the characters just right?" asked the woman, "It'll all be explained, but first you have to be assigned to your partner."

Crystal was watching a man in a business suit sitting on a bench eating lunch with a meerkat, "Is that Timon? I'm sorry, did you say something?"

The woman sighed, "Your _partner_. Honestly, I don't understand why you were invited here. You can't pay attention!"

As Crystal followed the woman out of the park-room, she heard the business man say in an exasperated voice, "I've told you this a million times! I don't eat bugs!"

Crystal and the woman entered a hallway lined with glass-paneled doors. As she stopped to look through one, she saw that the inside of the rooms were cartoon as well.

"These are the Character's dormitories. As you can imagine, there are simply too many Characters to find decent partners for, and they need _someplace_ to live."

Crystal stopped and looked through one of the panels. The door seemed to lead underwater. As she peered through the glass, a shark appeared at the glass baring its teeth. Crystal shrieked and fell back. The shark swam away chuckling to itself in an Australian accent.

"Pick up the pace, Miss Miller," the woman called from farther down the hall, "There'll be time for sight seeing later."

Crystal hurried to catch up. She heard snatches of song from several doors, and she wondered if they would ever reach their destination.

"Ah, here we are," the woman said, stopping before one of the doors, "Room 118."

She opened the door and gestured for Crystal to enter. Warm air flowed from the room, and Crystal blinked in the bright sunlight that filled it. Brightly colored butterflies flew around her head.

"What is this place?" muttered Crystal, more to herself than to the woman.

A blue bird wearing a top hat landed on her shoulder, "Morning, neighbor," it whistled cheerfully before flying away.

"No way!" Crystal said, her eyes following the bird, "Is this...?"

"Yes," said the woman, "Welcome to the Song of the South."

Crystal clapped her hands and laughed, "Oh my god! I can't believe this! I _love_ this movie! Do I get to meet _all_ of the characters? Where's Chick-A-Pin Hill? I can't believe this! This is sooooo cool-"

A loud laugh cut her off. A small rabbit wearing a faded pink shirt and a baggy pair of pants shot from behind a tree giggling uncontrollably. A tall, orange fox and a lumbering brown bear wearing a red hat chased him as he ran towards Crystal and the woman.

The woman reached down and caught the rabbit by the ears, sighing, "All right Brer Rabbit, what did you do this time?"

The rabbit grinned, "I didn't do nothing to 'em, I swear. They brought it upon themselves!"

The fox's chest was heaving and his face was contorted with anger, "N…N…Now you listen to me! I've had it up to _here_ with that rabbit!"

"What exactly did he do, Brer Fox?" asked the woman.

Brer Fox opened his mouth, and then closed it.

The bear grinned stupidly and said, "He done made us chase him into that ol' Briar Patch of his."

The woman frowned, "And why, may I ask, were you chasing him, Brer Bear?"

Brer Fox gestured frantically for Brer Bear to shut up, but Brer Bear just smiled and said, "Well, Brer Fox was saying that Brer Rabbit would make a mighty fine snack."

"Oh, was he now," the woman said, glaring at a sheepish Brer Fox, "Well, you'll be happy to know, Mr. Fox, that Brer Rabbit will be out of your hair for a while."

Brer Rabbit's eyes lit up in surprised delight, "You mean I'm getting' outta here?"

"Yes. Brer Rabbit meet Crystal Miller. Crystal Miller, welcome to the end of your sanity."


End file.
